You've Got Results
by Jennie-Blossom
Summary: Zell is having a hard time getting a relationships, so he takes an online survey and is surprised at his results. But they already have someone, so he begins to plot a way to have them for his own.


Zell POV

Sure, I'm a tough guy. I fight with my hands; I've got a tattoo in the most painful place possible. I listen to hard core metal. But do you know what? I want something that it seems everyone else has. Squall has it, Rinoa has it, and even Irvine and Selphie have it too. I want to be happy; I want to be in love.

I want a woman to wake up to, to kiss me softly. I want a little thing to hold and be up with all hours of the night. Yeah, I sound like a pussy, but I'm being honest. And things just don't seem really all that fair on my part. So many relationships came out from us saving them world. Where's my woman?

Well, that's what I thought about when I got up this morning. I didn't know that whole point of view was going to change.

"Sweet!"

Rinoa stared at me from across the table, eating her lunch, but finding amusement in me eating mine.

"Ya know, this is my first hotdog in god knows how long." I said, not really directing it to her.

She roller her eyes. "You make it sound like crack."

"It is my crack." I told her before taking a bite.

"You do know what hotdogs are really made of, don't you?"

"Don't even tell me." I said. "Because I don't want to know."

"They have parts of the liver, kidney, heart-"

I quickly covered my ears. "LA LA LA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

Rinoa giggled.

Selphie joined us afterwards. She had two hotdogs in her hand. My eyes averted to it as if it called my name. Selphie noticed right away.

"Oh, do you want one Zell?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Well, I'm sorry; I'm saving it for Irvine."

"Aw, c'mon! Please?" I begged.

She shook her head. "I know it's your crack, but still, when ever Irvine finally gets here, he's always too late and they are always sold out."

"Uh, hello?" I pointed to myself. "Sound familiar?"

She laughed. "I dunno, Zell…"

I gave her my puppy dog eyes.

She sighed. "Oh, alright. Here. Just don't tell Irvy."

I shoved the whole thing in my mouth. "Like he needs you to get his own hotdog. You can do much better than that bozo."

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow at me. "Like who?"

I swallowed and grinned at her. "Like me."

She laughed. Which kind of hurt a little. Am I really not boyfriend material? She noticed my hurt face, and stopped laughing. "Oh, I'm sorry Zell."

"Can't you get a girlfriend, Zell? You need a little something to take your stress off." Rinoa chipped in.

I put my feet on the table. "It's not me, all the girls around here a sluts."

"Ahem." They both cleared their throat at the same time.

"Oh! Not you guys! You guys are great! I meant other girls. I'm just looking for…I dunno…something serious." I explained before thy both stabbed me.

"Why do you take an on line match maker survey?" Rinoa asked.

"Yeah." Selphie agreed.

"A what? What is that? It's not E-Harmony, is it?"

Selphie giggled. "No. It's just a survey that you can take on line to see who you're most compatible with in the whole garden."

"Sweet! Where can I take it?"

Selphie grabbed my hand. "Here, come to my room. We'll take it there."

Once we got to Selphie's room, she looked it up and found it for me. I sat down in front of the screen.

"I've never taken it, but I'm sure it works like this. Just answer the questions and hit submit down at the bottom when you're finished. Okay? I'll catch ya later; I was supposed to meet Irvy at the Cafeteria."

She left and I began the quiz. At first I thought this would be pretty lame.

"Question one, are you a virgin?" I read loud.

I looked around. "I wonder if this is anonymous. Well, it's Selphie's room, so if they trace it back, they'll trace it to her."

I clicked yes, and then hit next.

"Question two…"

_Thirty-nine minutes later._

"Question two hundred and ten…" I clicking finger was getting week. Too many QUESTIONS! "What kind of music do you listen to?"

I clicked rock, and then next.

My results popped up. Yes I was finally finished.

"You're most compatible with…" I scrolled down. "Selphie Tilmitt?"

What? You've gotta be…

I continued to read, and it gave me reasons and backed up reason why we would be perfect. I've never looked at Selphie that way. Yeah, she's pretty hot, but she's one of my best friends. There's no way. Besides, she's already taken by that dumbass Irvine. He's not even faithful.

"He's not even faithful…" I repeated.

That's it. Maybe I could show Selphie how bad Irvine is, and maybe she'll come to me! Oh, Zell, you son of a bitch! It's perfect. Things could actually work out. I left her room to find her, in the cafeteria where she told me she'd be. But Rinoa said she left for the quad. So that's where I went next.

_Later_

"Alright boys, back it up." Selphie directed some guys with some wood. They were re building the quad.

She never turned around to see me sneak up from behind her. I quickly wrapped my arms around her waist. Mission one: Be Flirty.

"Irvy!" She squealed, but turned around. "Oh, Zell. Hey, I thought you were Irvy."

"Didn't you just see him?" I asked.

"No." She shook her head with a disappointment look on her face. "He never showed up. Good thing I gave you that extra hotdog, huh?"

I felt bad. "I'm sorry. How about I cheer you up?"

"Like what?" She put her hands on her waist.

"I dunno…it'll be a surprise."

"Are you asking me out on a date, Zell?"

"Well, I-uh-" I fumbled for words.

"I'm kidding." She smiled, calming me down a bit. "Let's go to take a walk, I need to relieve some stress. What do you say?"

Hey, takes a load off of me. "Sounds sweet. Can you leave these guys alone?" I pointed to the men working on the quad.

"Yeah, sure." She told me. "They're big boys; they can tie their own shoes and everything."

"Alright, let's go." I grabbed her hand and held on to it for a while before walking out of the quad. We decided to walk the big circle in the garden.

"So, who did you get on the survey?" She asked me.

"Uh, just some girl named Lola. I've never heard of her before."

"Hm, neither have I. She's probably new or something."

She was a made up girl.

"But don't worry, Zell." She continued. "You'll find love. Just look at me and Irvine."

"You love him?" I asked.

"Yeah, but sometimes he can get on my nerves when he flirts with other woman." She said trying to keep a smile.

"Do you think he loves you?"

"I'm pretty sure." She answered.

"How sure?"

"Hey, what's with all the questions about Irvy all of a sudden? I thought you really didn't like the guy."

"Eh, yeah, I know I'm supposed to but not really. I don't like how he treats you." I told her.

"And you could treat me better?" She asked in a jokingly way.

"Well…yeah." I grinned at her.

She smiled back and paused before talking again. "You might be right, but it's so hard to leave him. And it doesn't seem like there really is someone better than him."

"Maybe you aren't looking hard enough."

"Maybe…"


End file.
